Slaying your wife’s effin dragons

If you are a stay at home dad, you have an incredible opportunity to become the man of your wife’s dreams (we should be that man now, but really, how many of us are?). Let’s face it guys, the romantic stuff is right up your wife’s alley. If she is like most women, she can’t get enough of it. And, if you are an at home dad, you have the prime opportunity to do something about it with some courting and wooing.

Some may ask, how does this make you more of a man? Um, reality check, if you have a wife, she is half of you (many might say your better half). And, if that half is not thriving and feeling loved then half of you is withering away. Before I get too deep into all of this, I know that all women are different. I am speaking in general terms. If something doesn’t apply to your wife, don’t worry. Just send me a critical comment and I will be happy to discuss.

Here is where you get to flex your man muscles. Slay the ‘effin dragon. Find dragons in your wife’s life and do something about it. If you don’t feel up to it, start small. If you listen carefully, you will hear things that your wife needs (little dragon – quick victory), wants (bigger dragon – may take some time to make it happen) and desires (the big ‘effin dragon – this one will take some work.)

Every woman has needs. Your first task is to find them out and meet them. This can be as simple as picking up her dry cleaning or running an errand for her that is normally her responsibility. Since you are at home, most likely that means that you get to do the shopping. Here is a thought for you non-romantic types, almost every grocery store I have been to has a flower department. If you want a quick win, try picking some up. I would challenge you to get flowers once a month. Believe it or not, making her smile is the beginning of dragon slaughter!

As you graduate from slaying the little dragons, you move into the arena of wants. Just like every woman has needs, they also have wants. You may think this is common sense, but you would be surprised how many men never take the the time to search for them. It may be a hug (which can also be a little dragon) or it can be actually taking care of some things around the house. The garage is a great place to start. Typically, it needs to be cleaned. These dragons usually coincide with the honey-do list. It will take some effort on your part, but it is not something that is impossible for you.

While I have your attention, from a purely psychological standpoint, physical touch is a very strong indicator of intimacy. However, since I am writing to a bunch of men, I have to say that I am not talking about sex. The physical touch I am talking about is more in line with the rubbing of the shoulders or the back. If your wife works all day on her feet, then feet and legs may take the place of shoulders and back. This can also be as simple as a hug or holding her hand. One thing you will find is that you don’t have to be — insert her favorite sexy movie star character here — for this to work. Even if you are a little awkward, she will appreciate the effort. The key here is consistency over time.

So what about the big ‘effin dragon? This will take some research and hard work, if you are up to it. Think of this as a hero’s quest. It will be up to you to determine what the dragon is and then start working towards slaying it. To help get you started, here are some examples of what big ‘effin dragons can be. She wants to go back to school and get a degree or advanced degree. She wants to spend two weeks at an all inclusive resort with just you and no kids. She wants to go on a cruise. She wants to write a book.

As you can see the big ‘effin dragon will take a lot more time, coordination and planning. You may not have a lot of money to do nice things. Or, if you are like me, your organization skills may be lacking. In either case, slaying the big ‘effin dragon will require you to grow as a man. When you reach this stage, you will not only learn more about your wife but you will also learn more about yourself. If you need help in this area, feel free to contact me. I would be happy to share whatever I can.

Start training today! Slaying dragons is a lost art and if you can’t be the knight in shiny armour then be the knight in dinged up and well worn armour. Either way, your bride will be happy to have a champion.